// JavaScript Document
var howMany = 38
var quote = new Array(howMany+1)
quote[0]=""Some dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!"
-USELESS FACT "
quote[1]=""STEAM IRON:
Never iron clothes while on body."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[2]=""A little birdy told me!"
-MOMISMS"
quote[3]=""Cats humor us because the know that their ancestors ate ours."
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[4]=""True Story."
-OXYMORONS"
quote[5]=""An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain."
-USELESS FACT "
quote[6]=""CURLING IRON: This can burn eyes."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[7]=""DO NOT WASH!
This car is undergoing a scientific experiment."
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[8]=""Close the door!
You weren't born in a barn!"
-MOMISMS"
quote[9]=""Exact Estimate"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[10]=""Zip code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in N. Y."
-USELESS FACT "
quote[11]=""T.V. Remote Control:
Not dishwasher safe."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[12]=""Do I look like a maid?"
-MOMISMS"
quote[13]=""Honk if you love peace and quiet!"
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[14]=""Deafening Silence"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[15]=""America once issued a 5-cent bill!"
-USELESS FACT "
quote[16]=""WASHING MACHINE:
Do not put any person in this washer."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[17]=""SKYS LAWS:
You can not fall off the floor."
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[18]=""I hope someday you have children just like you."
-MOMISMS"
quote[19]=""Plastic Silverware"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[20]=""A mole can dig a tunnel 120 feet long in just one night!"
-USELESS FACT "
quote[21]=""BLOW DRYER:
Do Not Blow Dry in Sleep!"
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[22]=""I'm doing this for your own good."
-MOMISMS"
quote[23]=""Drive defensively.
Buy a tank."
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[24]=""Advanced BASIC"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[25]=""Porcupines float in water!"
-USELESS FACT "
quote[26]=""LIGHTER FLUID:
Contents flammable!"
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[27]=""There is enough dirt in your ears to grow potatoes!"
-MOMISMS"
quote[28]=""I'm not lost, I'm exploring!"
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[29]=""Acidentally on Purpose"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[30]=""A cat's jaw cannot move sideways."
-USELESS FACT "
quote[31]=""PACKAGE OF DICE:
Not for human consumption."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[32]=""Original Copy"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[33]=""If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?"
-BUMPER STICKERS"
quote[34]=""Random Order"
-OXYMORONS"
quote[35]=""Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air."
-USELESS FACT "
quote[36]=""GOLF CARTS:
Not for highway use."
-PRODUCT LABELS"
quote[37]=""Money does NOT grow on trees."
-MOMISMS"
quote[38]=""This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me."
-BUMPER STICKERS"
function rndnumber(){
var randscript = -1
while (randscript < 0 || randscript > howMany || isNaN(randscript)){
randscript = parseInt(Math.random()*(howMany+1))
}
return randscript
}
quo = rndnumber()
quox = quote[quo]
document.write(quox)